ANDREWS AFB, Md. –
"The seemingly endless, multiple deployments. The car broke down on the Beltway at night. Screaming children. Feeling overwhelmed and alone." These are challenges that Jane Doe recently used to describe her feelings as a military spouse of a Team Andrews member who is currently deployed on a one-year remote. Ms. Doe, a mother to two young children, realized she needed help when she found herself spiraling deeper and deeper into depression.
"The kids miss their dad - I miss their dad," said Ms. Doe. "Some days are great. I feel like I can tackle anything. Other days, it takes all I have to get out of bed and get the kids ready for school. You know, it's funny, before we got married, everyone would tell me, 'you know what you're getting yourself into by marrying into the military, don't you?' But, honestly, I had no idea it would be this hard. For all intents and purposes, I am a single mother and act as both mom and dad to my kids."
Ms. Doe's exhaustion and frustration was evident on her porcelain face as tears continued to run down her cheeks. "I'm tired," she said. "I'm just so tired."
At a recent visit to the Airman and Family Readiness Center, Ms. Doe found brochures describing the Military and Family Life Consultant program. "I've been going to talk to the Military and Family Life consultant and it really helps," said Ms. Doe. "I feel like someone out there really cares about me and my kids and they listen to me. After I meet with her, I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders."
Designed to support servicemembers and their families, the MFLC Program in 2004 as a pilot program. After the pilot program's success, a five-year contract was awarded to Military and Family Life Consultants in 2007.
"The MFLC program addresses issues that occur across the military-lifestyle spectrum and helps both servicemembers and their families cope with normal reactions to stressful events that come along with deployments and reintegration," said Master Sgt. Glynis K. Fresia, 316th Force Support Squadron A&FRC NCO in charge. "In 2007, the American Psychological Association reported that a growing number of military personnel and their families were reporting emotional problems resulting from stresses from deployments. Deployments are a huge stressor for our families, not to mention the other stresses faced by military families like finances, PCSes and child care."
The MFLC Program provides short-term counseling services to servicemembers and their families and provides an education to help families understand the impact of stress, deployments, reintegrations and other military-lifestyle stressors. The services also address life skills such as anger management, conflict resolution, communication, parenting, relationship issues, decision making skills and productivity. Deployment relocation adjustments, separations, coping skills and loss and grief issues are topics also discussed during MFLC sessions.
Military children are encouraged to participate in sessions with the MFLC through the Youth Center's "Speak Up" program. "The youth are free to discuss any topic - any issue they choose to discuss," said Matrice Adger, 316 FSS Youth Center teen director. "There are a variety of issues that are discussed during the meetings such as their feelings, issues at their school, their home environment, how they feel about their parents being deployed, and so on. The teen group talks about peer pressure, making the right decisions, teamwork, their future plans, influences of gangs, sexuality and other responsibilities."
Ms. Adger has seen first-hand how youth want to discuss the issues they are facing in their lives as military children. "I have witnessed the eagerness of the youth to discuss happenings in their everyday life. It's as though they look forward to just chatting and discussing their conflicts, accomplishments and concerns. They are happy to have someone to listen with no judgmental or biased attitudes or fear of consequences of being outspoken," said Ms. Adger. "One of the teens commented that he benefits from the weekly discussions because it makes him think about the things that he does every day, which helps him to stay focused on positive issues and avoid any negative influences. Meeting with the MFLC helps him to think before reacting."
"It's really a wonderful program," said Sergeant Fresia. "The MFLCs are licensed clinical counselors who have their master's or Ph.D. degrees, and we're so happy to be able to provide this program to our families here at Andrews."
To ensure the privacy of the military and family members, no records are kept. However, certain circumstances, such as threat of harm to oneself or others, child, sexual, spousal, elder, or substance abuse, or those on the personnel reliability program require Air Force protocol be followed.
"We're enlisted and just don't have the money to visit some fancy therapist," said Ms. Doe. "It's nice that [the MFLC] is located right here on base and is there when I need her. It's been a huge help for me and my kids."
Group sessions are available, and meetings are held every Wednesday at the Youth Center for 5 to 12-year-olds at 3 p.m., parents at 5 p.m. and teens at 7 p.m. For individual appointments, contact the MFLC. For more information, visit the A&FRC or call the MFLC at 301-325-9724.