JOINT BASE ANDREWS, Md. –
A sea of uniformed elementary school students sit captivated on the assembly room floor, as a former South African Army soldier tells a story about a little boy he met in an orphanage in Angola, Africa.
Trevor Romain, an award-winning author made a two-day stop to the Youth Center and Imagine Andrews Public Charter School at Joint Base Andrews, Md., 25 and 26 March.
The "With You All The Way" Tour was part of a project in partnership between The Trevor Romain Group and the United Services Organization.
Romain, who now lives in San Antonio, Texas, was bullied as a child but found a way to turn his childhood struggles into strengths. The encounter with the orphan boy made such an impact on him that it turned out to be a pivotal moment in his life.
"I decided that, for the rest of my life, I wanted to work with young people," said Romain." I wanted to help kids, especially kids who were hurting."
The tour started in 2010 and has since traveled to 16 countries, sharing a message geared toward military children, helping them "manage and regulate" their feelings. At the same time, he explains to parents and educators, the power of comforting and the importance of connecting with children. The overall mission is to enable children to be "happier, healthier and more confident."
During his presentation, Romain instantaneously creates a rapport with the students, telling his life stories with sincerity and humor.
"He really knows how to talk to kids," said Jondae Smith, 12, an Imagine Andrews Public Charter School 6th grader.
In his talk, Romain also teaches students two sets of simple, foundational concepts. The first set of concepts includes: "talk, ask, journal, exercise and be kind." The second set is for children to have a "starting five." "This is a list of five grown-ups they can go to when they have a problem," said Romain. "Children will stop after one, and then internalize and do not express."
If the first person is busy, they can go to the next one on the list, and so on.
Additionally, when children feel like the adults in their lives do not understand or hear them, it can cause them to withdraw or lash out. Instead, he encourages kids to ask for help.
It's easy for adults to forget what it's like to be a child and to grow up in today's high-tech world, inundated with bullies.
The journey has been educational for Romain too. He's discovered a different approach when dealing with bullies.
"They are desperately asking for a connection but they don't know how to do it," Romain said. That is when he encourages kindness.
"I have been bullied and have been a little bit of a bully," said Smith. "This really helped me to learn to be kind to people, and also to be nice to bullies so they start to get a warm feeling inside."
These techniques help students with day-to-day tasks like homework.
"Sometimes after I finish my homework, I get a little mad," said Smith.
Using physical activity to release tension is another technique Smith learned. "I can really do some push-ups or sit-ups at the end of the day."
Growing up in the military presents another set of challenges.
"When my mom deployed, I stayed quiet and didn't really feel like talking to anybody," said Smith.
Smith thinks about how he could apply the newfound tools. "I could have used a journal or a piece of paper, or I could have talked to someone else," said Smith, whose mother Staff Sgt. Janell Kersh, 457th Airlift Squadron, aviation resource manager.
It is clear to see that Romain's intention is to support the children. The tour's motto, "With You All The Way," let's children know that they are not alone in difficult times and they need to be there for one another.
The military places importance on resiliency and has developed programs and various resources available to service members and their families. Programs like these were not always available to veterans and their families in the past.
"We've shown our materials to Vietnam vets, and 40 years later, they want to start talking," said Woody Englander, chief executive officer for The Trevor Romaine Group.
Romain and Englander started the company in 2004 and partnered with the USO in 2006.
His wife, Ronda Englander, executive director of the Comfort Crew, an organization that provides support to military families with a focus on children, did not have the resources that are available today.
Ronda's father was killed when she was three, during the Vietnam War. "She thought she was the only person, nobody talked about it," said Englander.
"Our military is very fortunate that times are different and they are supported. However, our military's never experienced having to deploy six, seven or eight times," said Englander.
Seeing how much the kids enjoy the presentation and how much they actually need the information has been over whelming.
"The feedback has been phenomenal," said Englander. They get thousands of e-mails and letters, as well as immediate feedback from the kids. "They just want to share," he said.
"To know that we help the community that keeps us free, keeps us safe, is pretty special," said Englander. "I've always appreciated what the military does, but I didn't have the foggiest idea of what military people do and what military families have to go through, especially in the last 12 years."
The group will continue on their tour through next year. They are now in production for a new animated resource for military teens in partnership with the USO that will be ready in the Fall of 2015.